Saturday, May 05, 2007

distractions...

If I had a nickel for every time the devil distracted me…

I’ve just suffered my second great betrayal. Like so many things, it isn’t something that I can talk about on a public forum, so I can only say that it has been brutal.

During my first, I found myself thinking back to the story of Jesus when He suffered the betrayal of God, His own disciples, the Jews (His chosen people), and the world at large, which he had created. I tried to remind myself of the words, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do” and I tried to adopt them as my own. I have to confess that I was sometimes able to do that, but mostly I was not. In fact, it took years to get over, finally happening gradually, almost ten years after it had taken place, and about two years after I had made a concerted effort to forgive the offending party by showing up at their door and confessing to them that, though it was my desire to forgive them, I had not yet been able to do it.

It’s a pretty arrogant statement, and a pretty arrogant state of mind though if you think about it. Who am I not to forgive and who am I to show up at someone’s door to proclaim that they are not yet forgiven. What an idiot to think that I have that right, as if trumpets should have sounded as I stepped from my car, or (apparently) the horse drawn carriage in my mind. This is me typing out loud.

And so I know that the party involved is not the enemy, and that I must forgive them because I too have been forgiven. That the forgiven servant who does not also forgive his fellow debtor is doomed. And I do not want to be doomed. But I would like to figure out the meaning of “guard your hearts and minds”. I don’t think I’ve ever truly understood what that means, let alone how to actually accomplish it.

Comments on "distractions..."

 

Blogger Bret said ... (1:15 AM) : 

Dude . . . I can identify. I too have been betrayed and struggle to forgive. I’ve tried, but God revealed to me recently that I still had bitterness in my heart.

I know where you’re coming from. It’s extremely painful.

As I was typing this response I stopped and prayed for you. I’ll continue to pray.

“Therefore, my dear brother, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Cor 15:58)

Blessings,

Bret

 

Blogger Mel Reynolds said ... (5:26 PM) : 

What you need to do is:

- Go into your room
- Get your headphones on
- Put on Foo Fighters 'Is Someone Getting The Best' at full volume
- Relish in the song. Headbang if you must. Air drum if you feel it neccessary. Just rock it a little.
- Take 10 deep breaths
- Kiss your wife

I'm tellin ya, that song lets it all out.

 

Blogger Larry said ... (11:43 PM) : 

I too have been burned and betrayed. Forgiveness is so tough because we want to be right. It is a freeing experience. I pray that you will be free.

Janet and I love you.

 

Blogger Trent said ... (2:06 PM) : 

Do you remember in City Slickers when Curly tells Billy Crystal what the meaning of life is? If you remember Curly holds up one finger to which Crystal responds, "you mean the meaning of life is your finger?"

Curly says, "No, it is one thing and the one thing is something you have to figure out for yourself."

Every time I get my heart trampled on it is because I have let it get distracted from the one thing. The problem is that my heart is wickedly deceptive, who can understand it?

When I started writing this I thought it was a response, but now I am not sure.

 

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