daydream believer
I have two primary daydreams. They are as follows:Imagining how I might build a mechanism to blow out the tires of cars which drive past my house, honking their horns at all hours of the day. 3 a.m.? No problem. HONK! I have two ideas. One is some sort of a firing mechanism that actually fires bullets or darts or something into the tires of the offending car. This, however, creates a huge problem in that (first of all) guns are not allowed in the UK and this mechanism would most certainly qualify as one and (two) it would require homing radar, something I probably wouldn’t be able to get my hands on without being labelled a terrorist. The second idea is some sort of spike strip that comes up out of the ground to puncture the tires of the offending car. The problem with this is that it wouldn’t be very accurate and would probably take out the tires of other passing cars. I’m still working on this plan but the daydream involves the offending drivers feeling very sorry for their actions and making sure that it never happens again.
The second daydream involves how I might become friends with Bono. I’ve thought and thought about this. I’ve gone through a long list of ideas. The only thing I’m sure of is that I couldn’t meet him as a fan. If I met him as a fan then I’d always be a fan. The best idea I’ve come up with is meeting him when we’re both involved in some sort of social justice campaign. But even then, I can never figure out what kind of conversation I could possibly have with him that wouldn’t make me out as a fan. I mean the guy must have a million people trying to leach on. I’ve never figured out a way to not be one of those leaches. I’ve dedicated thousands of man hours to this particular daydream. It’s actually a great source of disappointment for me as, even in my daydream, I can’t manage to become friends with Bono.
I daydream about these two things all of the time. Coming in third are recent daydreams about how my (soon to be born) daughter will play the Cello and have an unbelievably eclectic taste in music. She will be cool and will hate all boy bands and crappy R&B booty music.
Feel free to share.
posted by Tim at 10:26 PM
Comments on "daydream believer"
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Kathryn said ... (7:53 PM) :
post a commentI haven't laughed out loud at my computer screen in a LONG time. Thank you so much for that post, it made my day. I feel your pain about the Bono thing, but maybe I can help you out with that by inviting you to a music awards show (where I'll be up for best new artist and song of the year) where it's just normal to be hanging out with those guys. Also, your daughter doesn't stand a chance of not liking R&B if you are bringing her up in TOTTENHAM, fool! It's probably already in her brain. She'll be coming out doing the rodger rabbit. Thank Jamie for that one.
Tim-
I wish you'd mentioned this daydream before to me. I could have hooked you up with Bo (what all his friends call him, he really thinks his full name sounds too formal) a long time ago. In fact, we just went bowling last weekend. If I'd known you could have come along. Anyway, next time Bo and I head out for a grande latte, I'll make sure you get in the mix. Ok?
Drew, you're a dork! Everybody knows that Bono's real name is Paul Hewson! Geez, what a loser.
Hey Tim! Your daydream ranks up there with my daydream about owning a car that has rocket launchers in the front to blow up cars that cut you off in traffic, spikes on the side to tear up the finish on cars that swerve into your lane because the driver is too busy talking on the cell phone while drinking coffee and puffing on a cigarette and finally an oil gun of some sort in the back to slick the road for people who are tailgating. Oh! And mega-speakers to outblast the person next to you who wants to share his music with everyone on the planet. Road rage? I think not.
I, Timothy Miller, can take care of both your second and third daydreams in one fell swoop. A short time from now, when I am a ridiculously sought-after actress, you and Jamie (whom I miss so much it hurts-- literally) will take your daughter (oh my goodness...) to one of my homes. My jet will pick you up and the three Millers will spend some quality time with me! (MY dream come true) Bono will be hanging out at my crib, naturally, so you can chill with him while I impart to the littlest Miller how to be a cool, independant woman with good taste in music. Ok, so Jamie will have to teach her how to be cool...but I've got the music part down! There. Problems solved.
Tim, out of curiousity why do you want your daughter to learn the cello? I'm sure your daughter will be an incredible person, she has amazing people for parents.
School has started again, and I am taking 4 major classes and two general ed classes. So far I'm really into one class. Non-western cultures. I love learning about places I've never been to and I don't know much about already.
Because girls who play the guitar are cool and girls who play the Cello are beautiful and graceful. Plus we can start a band together.
Who is the coolest most tomboy athlete girl you know? Cari. Which would make my dreams to have sports star children a very real possibility. Well. HMPH. My kids couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat and all of them run like girls. But Ashton is a brain with a huge social conceince (need help?) and Brett is a brilliant comedian with a big heart. And he owns a guitar. Don't worry...she'll be a great baby. Get the cello early, though...Love you guys!! More pictures soon? Y'all look great!
When my daughter (who plays the viola...near miss, there) marries Bono, I promise you can come to the wedding and I'll sort the seating plan with you in mind. Daughter has had wedding sorted for a couple of years now, it's just that Mr Hewson hasn't realised...