slackmanship

Ok. It’s time somebody just said it; all those people who talk about “the rewards of parenthood” are just making crap up and are too ashamed to admit that there aren’t any. After three weeks on this planet, this baby still doesn’t do a thing! No school, no chores, and no job! Pretty much she just eats, sleeps, and poos. The only thing that made her better than having a puppy is that she hadn’t peed on my carpet. That’s no longer the case. And I have to tell you that she’s really losing her figure too. She’s officially got a milk gut. And, despite her American roots, she’s decided to go the way of the Europeans by only bathing every other day. I’m not impressed! She can’t read. She can’t even talk! In fact, I’m not even convinced that she can even focus in on one thing. Her head bounces around like a bobble head doll. She cries as if to say, “please come over here”, and I say, “no, you come over here” and she says, “no, you come over here”, and that goes on for a while until finally I give in (because I’m tired of hearing her whine) and I go over there. The whole thing is ridiculous really and I challenge anybody who thinks they can get more out of her. She’s just lazy. A complete slacker. She has no vision, no ambition, and no drive whatsoever. I don’t see how she’s ever going to graduate from high school let alone go on to get a college degree!

If you know of any jobs out there for a slacker with no self motivation, and who can’t read or speak a known language, please let me know.

(Disclaimer: these thoughts were written at 3:00 a.m. while sitting up with a very wide awake Olyvia. Happy Birthday to her, despite the late night!)